unconsidered

The unconsidered life is not worth living.

The project is simple enough in conception. Discover and actualize my personal kung fu, become my superself, manipulate discipline and self image in such a way that the existence or absence of freewill is irrelevant. But the starting point is infinitely distant. First, before slipping deeper into any kind of critical or philosophical inquiry into the nature of my goals, into the very idea of the ideal, it is necessary to chose a starting point, to generate a kind of fitness landscape upon which the current self can be mapped. Before this can be done the criteria for the landscape must be chosen. Before i can ask "What is progress?" i must determine "Which progress is most appealing?" from there i imagine it might be possible to begin a more serious critical inquiry into the nature of that particular progress.
But before this step can be taken it is necessary to fill out several forms. Cognitive forms are the most apparent. To tease out 'which progress' the nature and boundaries between culture and self must be given some, at the very least, transient form. Attempts to explore this terrain reveal further questions, each level of decent, ascent, traversal reveals another nest of questions and the starting point moves further afield.
For this reason I have chosen to discard the authentic or the ideal. I can see the authentic only as the name for that which is lost, which is no more. Instead of looking for an ideal I shall emultate the western notion of expansion. Or, more precisely, goals and desired landscapes shall be determined by difference, by an attempt to expand and contract the boundaries of self and the construction of image based only on what has not yet been a boundary or image before. An attempt will be made to define the self as the thwarting of the self, guerrilla warfare of a sort. This is a stumbling kind of assault, as sloppy as my life preceding this moment has been, i now set out to establish a disciplined sort of sloppiness. This may be a futile gesture. But it should be recognized, i believe, as no more or less futile than any other, and no more or less authentic.